Tsurara's Diary
by Ambivalencia
Summary: Her pale hand was scribbling all over the page. A very warm smile planted in her face. Tsurara muttered, "It's done!" and she left her white big book full with the words of Rikuo and her clan. She was writing a diary about her daily life. - RikuTsura / DISCONTINUED
1. Entry 1 Prologue

**Yuki Onna's Diary  
**_By: Liesselotte _

**Summary: **_Her pale hand was scribbling all over the page. A very warm smile planted in her face. Tsurara muttered, "It's done!" and she left her white big book full with the words of Rikuo and her clan. She is writing a diary. _

**Disclaimer: **_Nurarihyon no Mago is not mine to exploit, so please do remember that I only own the core idea of this fanfiction._

_*Revised, please look the footnote from the author regarding the fanfiction's continuation!*_

**Entry 1: Prologue of the Diary**

…

"Yuki Onna!" shouted a woman whose brown hair was as long as her shoulder. She walked on a wooden corridor and shook her hands specifically to a girl whose appearance was around the age of fifteen, or sort.

The busy girl with black silken hair turned around and bowed down to the beautiful brunette, she with all of her respect replied, "Hai! What is it, Wakana-sama?" the big golden eyes of Tsurara Oikawa glanced with all of her concentration to one human.

The human asked, "Did you see Rikuo?" and tilted her eyebrows, feeling worried about her only son. On ponders, the snow demon glanced at Wakana's crimson kimono, in which, by all means, amazed by the serving Yuki Onna of Nura Household, Tsurara Oikawa. She was proud that she could serve such beautiful lady as Wakana.

But wait. She remembered what Wakana asked something to her few seconds ago. She asked where was Rikuo? Now, that was odd.

"Rikuo-sama? I thought I escorted him when we went home with Ao ... But, yes. He went home with us, safely guarded."

The woman's finger touched her lips, and she crossed her arms below her chest as a sign of desperate curiosity in knowing the location of her son, after the sudden silence, she muttered, "Strange... I haven't seen him anywhere ..."

The snow woman quietly agreed to the term, it was strange. Usually her master would tell her or Aotabou if he needs to go somewhere else without them. She had not a glitter feeling of goodness in her heart, and all she felt was bad feeling and that was not an understatement, she really did worry about him and she intended to search for him until he was found.

"O..Okay! I'll look for him now Wakana-sama. If you pardo—"

"I'm home!"

The sudden voice of his master jerked her up. She, unconsciously felt relieved on his unintentionally intent on shocking her, however, she was actually shocked. Despites despising him for shocking her, she was relieved about him coming home when she was thinking of bad feeling she had just now.

"Oh, there he is!" The edge of her lips got wider, making a huge smile planted in Wakana's face, "Thank you, Tsurara-chan! Please continue the laundry, I will help you out after I done talking to Rikuo." And she ended her intention with a small wink. Wakana has always been the one who could light up the situation around the household; with her energetic behaviour, and optimism of her way of life. She was one of the most inspirational people that Tsurara had ever known.

The Nura's Yuki Onna shook her tiny head and smiled sweetly, like she always does, "It is okay Wakana-sama. I am almost done anyway! I have to do an errand for Nurarihyon-sama," After explaining her job to Wakana, the human smiled again in reply, and left Tsurara to meet Rikuo. Either way, what she really needed to do was to finish her job as a good and yet faithful attendant of the household. Being a faithful is not as easy as being a baby, and that shall not be an understatement.

Soon the conversation between the ice lady and the woman came to an end, and Yuki Onna hurried herself to do the laundry and went to Nurarihyon's main room. It was big, and she was practically fine with it. Of course, she had lived there for as long as God knows, being the youkai who had served Nura clan for a long time, the feeling of nostalgia had never disappeared from the room, and from the house, especially. So, simply put, she was comfortable. End of the line.

"What is it Nurarihyon-sama?" the ice lady bowed her head and humbly took her seat. Nurarihyon grinned in front of her. He may be looked old, but his sensitivity and wisdom were sharp as always. Like what he had in his victorious gleaming times, and when he gave his wise words to the third commander, her current leader now. He was practically the same. Just like he was in the past, he was still as straightforward as he could usually be. He was indeed one, and Tsurara agreed if many youkai were still afraid and bowed down to his_ fear_. Well, he was still as strong as he was in the past, except his kind and nice old features, hey, the power of one kind does not imply to its appearance, not?

Being straightforward like Tsurara had implied few seconds ago, he said, "Do you have a problem with Rikuo, in any sorts, Yuki Onna?" and his cunning smirk was not to be underestimated.

She jerked up, she didn't even know what the supreme commander intended from the sudden question. As far as she concerned, her relationship with her master was fine in a way. Being the leader of Rikuo's bodyguard squad was tiring, really, but she realized what the supreme commander asked was out of the question. Instead of being confused, she pressed his question so she could be a little _clear_.

"What did you mean by that, Supreme Commander?"

The old man raised a brow, as if he was about to realize something shocking and then he smiled, as if he didn't ask anything to Tsurara few seconds ago, "Nothing. Anyway! I have a special task for you."

"What is it then?" being a bit irritated because the supreme commander didn't tell his actual intention, Tsurara decided to shut her mouth from her question and trying to stay calm and being _not_ irritated. So, she smiled.

"This."

Nurarihyon gave her a big white book, and she was staring at it. The rings of her golden eyes were growing wide, and her fingers unintentionally touched her lips, and thinking about the foreign thing that she might as well didn't know a thing or two about it.

"What is this?"

"Isn't it obvious, Tsurara?" Nurarihyon reached his cigarette and smoked, "That's a _diary_. It meant for you to write what you feel, what you do, and what happens to you, everyday."

Nurarihyon smiled cunningly, his intention was not as far as that, he still had something more to cover on his sleeves. But the poor and yet _quite _naïve Tsurara didn't realize it and decided to take the big blank book. She instead, just gave the commander a wide smile as her thanks. She felt that she was entrusted something very important from him, and she decided to do it carefully so she would not disappoint the commander, which was, the last thing that she would want to do in the future.

"So Tsurara, this book—I want you to write a diary. Write everything that you feel, and what you do in the past. That made everything beautiful or something sad, anything like that." The oldman sighed, "Well, you know how diary _works_, no?"

The ice lady nodded, "But may I asked you a question, Nurarihyon-sama?"

"Hmm?" the oldman still smoked to his heart's content.

"Well, I just wanted to know why you wanted me to write this diary. Why me, specifically?" she smiled.

"That would be revealed to you after you are comfortable with the task that I have given to you. You will know sooner or later. But I tend to choose the latter, so … be patient, hahahaha!" Without asking her further doubts, she bowed her head as she stood up and took the diary in her grab. After she gone, Aotabou and Kubinashi went to the room and smiled.

"This has to work somehow. We can't let that poor Tsurara down every time like that." Kubinashi said while sighing and taking a seat beside Nurarihyon.

"Yes, and I hoped this idea of yours work well, Ao." Nurarihyon nodded and smirked.

"She might not know our intention, but if she knows, I hope she understands what we do."

They were scheming—planning something, and that something was not underrated enough for Tsurara to mad at them. All they hoped was something that planted a hope, and of course, a surprise must be unexpected to be a surprise and the plan included the main character of their plan; that was the Tsurara Oikawa.

Oblivious to the recent conversation Nurarihyon had with Rikuo's attendees, Yuki Onna went back to her room, and after she slid the wooden sliding door, she hurried herself and took a wooden pencil, starting to write an entry. Tsurara hardly knew about diary before, for all she knew were to serve and battle for Rikuo in the household.

_Diary Entry, no.1_

_Nurarihyon-sama asked me to write a diary. I wished that what I write will be perfect and tidy! To put bluntly honest, I still don't know what to write. But Nurarihyon-sama said that I should write about what I felt, and about what happened to me in the past or today or right now! Well then, let us started this entry okay? :D _

_So I decided to write what I felt about the recent battle in Mount Neijireme. Rikuo-sama with his human friends went to investigate youkai and other things. Honest thought, I felt that it was a bit ridiculous. Youkai are everywhere! All they actually need was to ask the youkai to reveal themselves and … Well, I forget one thing! I am a youkai and they haven't realized it. Oh well! I will and still do my job as an attendant whether I like or dislike it._

_And… that includes when I have to hang around Rikuo-sama's human friends, especially a human girl that I seemingly hate, Ienaga Kana. Master was particularly a childhood friend of hers. Although I myself felt that his feeling toward her was not equally as friend. However, he might felt something different—or even way more than he might have realized. _

_I don't know what to do. This is probably why I'm feeling afraid of losing him. But no, I'm his attendant and I should not feel that way! My priority is to make Master happy, unharmed, and proud! I swore that I will raise waka as the strongest commander ever, and I shall not make any bigger problems by trusting my petty complaints about his friends and such._

_Even if I said such things in front of the others, I could not fully deny the feeling of aggravation and desperation also the feeling of envy and jealousy because my master's relationship to Kana Ienaga._

_Why couldn't I be a normal youkai who could attend perfectly in front of him? To act as if this feeling is nothing is even worse than being stab from behind._

_- Tsurara Oikawa_

She dropped her pen, and she muttered, "Ah, it is finished!" the woman felt really cherished; "It is my very first entry." The first entry has written by that of a petite youkai. After she realized that she was so absorbed with her new task, she then looked outside and it was night already, then someone called her for help. The voice was gentle and firm. Probably it was from Wakana-sama, she concluded so. While she did, she opened the shoji door and found someone dazzling. But the fact told another conclusion behind her false conclusion seconds ago, it was not Wakana after all.

"Tsurara." it was her master. The gleaming Night Rikuo.

* * *

**_*EDIT A/N (02/04/2012): _I edited the first chapter and so on. I'm still working on the second chapter and the updates. So ... Yeah, be sure to leave a review about how sucks or how quite good this chapter be. It helps! Pointed grammatical errors and some out of character that might be in this chapter would help my English progression (and automatically makes everything a lot better, you know, making the fanfiction with good grammar is fun).**

**Also the category of the characters tag in the fandom was finally approved by FFN after I sent and longed for it (a month or two)! That's it for conclusion. Happy reading and sorry if I'm late. Writer block is even crueler than before. It even managed to make myself could hardly touch the keyboard for typing the fanfiction for as long as God knows!**

**I felt that my writing skill is very bad. Well, that, and my exams are almost everywhere in the schedule. :(**


	2. Entry 2 The Sakazuki

_**Yuki Onna's Diary**_

_*Revised: Please look at the footnote for further information about the fanfiction's continuation!*_

**Entry 2. The Sakazuki.**

* * *

_"Tsurara." it was her master. The mighty Night Rikuo._

…

_'It was master Rikuo!'_ She thought. She blushed out of nowhere, and she found herself was facing her master. Something so sudden was rarely predictable, the constant speed of her heart was beginning to beat twice as fast and it was, however, the worst condition for now. Well yes.

"There you are," he glanced at Tsurara and smirked, "Old man told me that I should see you this night. I wonder why. Do you have any problems, or sort?" he stuttered.

"Hmm …" she tried to act as if nothing was actually happened between them, "I wondered what something Master Nurarihyon-sama thought of was. I thought there was nothing to worry about…" she tried to act cheery but she didn't know why, remembering about what she had written in her entry, she suddenly became unfocused and her face fell, as she could not maintain her normal composure. Unfortunately for her, Rikuo was not oblivious. Was Tsurara's act of cheery was so obvious?

"What happened, Tsurara?" He deepened his call for her name, and walked forward to Tsurara. Unintentionally, her feet led her to step backward, making Rikuo moves another step toward her.

"I..It's nothing to worry about Rikuo-sama. I think you should rest assure and prepare for your school tomorrow!" She forced out her smile and forced out her hands to Rikuo's chest so he could just step backwards, out from her room. '_It'll be okay_'. she thought, _'And what is happening to me? This is weird!'_

"You're weird today, Tsurara." He muttered. The exact words to make her resistance broke down. He stared with full concentration at the beautiful white attendant of his, and began to know what could possibly happened to this beauty.

".. Tch, fine." he acted like he gave up, but he still have some tricks on his sleeves to be his trump cards in next times.

"You ought to be fine again, Tsurara! You are my _attendant_, and you are to assure my safety, right?" His last smirk was the last clue that he just gone. He was gone from her eyes. She just smiled sadly. Her beautiful hair flowing with the wind that passed her way, making her shuddered from the sudden come of the wind and the sound of crickets from the garden. She wondered, why did she feel weird? Why that had to happen to her?

…

The days have passed since Tsurara made her first entry. From the look of the entries, what she wrote was always about Rikuo. She never stopped writing the entries, and now she was thankful of Nurarihyon for giving her the task in the first place.

In her diary, she, with all of her heart did not decline that she was pretty much attached to him. She didn't know what exactly the process, but she pondered and butterflies would always swarm in her stomach every time her neon eyes were to meet with the bloody eyes of him. She just could not bear if any danger attempted in him, and if the danger was to be in his way, then it would be her pleasure to get rid of it, just to make sure he was there for her to keep him safe. The feeling of deep anxiety kept hidden inside of her smile, everyday. Well, probably, being like this was quite pleasant.

_Diary Entry no.12_

_Diary, I thanked you very much for hearing my rants all the time! (^q^)/ I know that you might not be pleasured to hear my doubts and anxiety every day. To be honest, I am thankful that you are still with me here and hear my wonders, hehe._

_Well, my problem is that I wondered, why does the feeling that I have every time I see Rikuo-sama arrive in a very unpredictable place? The very first time I was quite attached to him was when I went with him to Mount Neijirime. _

_How to describe this? Well! ^^; I am not a very good at this, but the feeling was woozy and fuzzy, it sometimes arrive in my stomach, and then it instantly makes my cheek redden. Even Kejourou said that my face was as red as beet when waka complimented me from my recent mission! ;/; _

_Well, he complimented me, and that was the very time where everything was odd. I mean, I wasn't supposed to feel this way. Oh, I firstly thought it was love, but nope! That is not it!_

_I am sure that he would love either Kana or Yura. Well, not that I want to brag or anything, but I will guard Rikuo-sama and be with him longer than they could! :D Those girls are kind of silly when they are with Rikuo-sama, and it makes me boiled inside in which, I don't know why._

_Anyway, the rhymes of battlefield soon come. The leader of another Hyakki. Tamazuki, is going to attack us soon. And I promised myself that I'll always protect him. I won't let even a slash on his silken arm could harm him. I'll keep supporting him until I die. That is my purpose of life!_

_- Tsurara Oikawa_

"Tsurara-chan! Would you like to help me on the laundry please?" the brunette lady shouted from afar. Tsurara dropped her pen, and she hid her diary safely below the desk of her room. She tidied her patterned scarf, "Alright! I'm doing it now Wakana-sama!" Tsurara shouted back, and she was still thinking about her diary. She felt that she talked too much. These petty complaints should not burden her main task to protect Rikuo. One false mistake could be a very big consequence for Rikuo's hyakki, and being an important core of the clan's generation, Tsurara would not offer any mistakes in her plea.

She walked to the outside and did the laundries. Just before she saw Rikuo in his day form was talking seriously with Gyuuki and others. It must be about the strategy. She glanced at him again, and finally remembered that the brunette was awarded with bandages on his head and lush smile on his face.

"Oh, Tsurara-chan. Thank you for helping," thanked Wakana. She smiled and murmured other words that would rather shocked the icy attendant. She was surprised, because the look on the seemingly-older woman face was quite shocking, "I wondered about Rikuo-kun ..."

Tsurara stared at her anxiously. "Why so Wakana-sama?"

"Because he always overworks himself," Wakana said. She glanced at her son from afar, just like Tsurara did and smiled warmly to Tsurara. "And that reminds me of his dad, Rihan."

"You must be proud to have Rikuo-sama as your son," Tsurara grinned merrily and Wakana replied the same.

"Yes, I do. I am proud. Don't you too, Tsurara-chan?" she asked.

"I am always proud of him," She nodded. Both of them agreed on the same term. She then glanced to the empty room. The young Nura has gone. Probably he has something to take care of. The smiling Tsurara was known as the one who frequently checked on Rikuo's condition. She had to, now hadn't she?

"Tsurara-chan! Don't space up too much!" shouted Wakana. She patted the ice lady and she was taking the laundry back because of the reason that the night was going to be there soon."Hai!" shouted Tsurara to make sure Wakana that she would do her job well.

After they had collected the laundries, the sudden news had managed to impact them. Karasu Tengu's son, just arrived and ran to Rikuo's room. He had, nothing, but to bring another tragedy. He was there in behalf of his founding, along with Mezumaru and Gozumaru who were beaten up so devastatingly.

…

The sudden change of awkward atmosphere was something that Tsurara was worried about. They were filled with the recent news about Mezumaru and Gozumaru in which, would be the sign that the war was getting into the Nura household sooner or later. But it would have seemed that Rikuo had to choose sooner, to prevent the latter consequences if he chose the later.

Tsurara with the other youkai-s were hearing Rikuo's conversation with the higher ups. They heard that this was Rikuo's plan along the way. This was shocking the whole household and making a riot in the core. She, also shocked in dismay, Tsurara shouted along with the others in disbelief. But knowing Rikuo, he would have the best reason that he could give to his clan.

After the pressure, unintentionally or even intentionally that overtook his little body, he suddenly fell unconscious, leaving the disbelief youkai went along and gone. They did not trust this kind of commander right now. Rikuo needed to be the kind of commander that they wanted to be. Someone strong, someone so fearful, and someone that other hyakki would bow down to. But this time, they were disappointed by Rikuo, and that disappointment was something that should not be underestimated.

With no other options, Zen, Aotabou and Kurotabou brought Rikuo in to his room to do further medication for the unconscious Nura. Zen asked them to leave him and Rikuo alone. He needed to speak with him and treated him with concentration to make sure he was okay.

Tsurara walked aimlessly to the front of the room, where Kurotabou, Aotabou and Kubinashi were there all along. Then, they decided to discuss the problem with the inner circles of Nura's clan and they did. After for a while, they managed to hear the sound of Rikuo's voice, in which, they concluded that he managed to wake up sooner than they expected. Then, they were peeking and hearing Zen and Rikuo's conversation.

Without doubt, Tsurara went along and heard together with them. Zen was shouting, instead, Rikuo just argued on how he could not lead the Hyakki Yakou in his current form. Tsurara quietly denied that it was not entirely true. He led them with all of his heart, with the intention on making them better. With connection between humans and youkai, he wished for peace.

After all of the arguments the sworn brothers shouted all along, the climax of the shouting started, and so suddenly.

*BRAK*

The peeking youkai, were found out by Zen. He opened the door harshly and left them fell down to the floor. Harshly, they met with the wooden floor, and no exception to Tsurara too.

But after the fall, Aotabou and Kurotabou were proudly shouted to the young commander, "Rikuo-sama! Please exchange_ Sakazuki_ with us!" Rikuo stared at them disbelief what he have heard just now, "Huh?"

Then following the statement they had announced suddenly to Rikuo, Aotabou shocked him once more with his loud and proud voice, "The reason we originally began serving you was because we had been ordered to do so by the supreme commander, who we've exchanged Sakazuki with!"

Kurotabou did not let not time for the day Rikuo to talk, he seized up the opportunity that his comrades had given to him and shouted with Aotabou, "That is to say, right now … There is no pledge between Rikuo-sama and ourselves."

The leader once again stared at them, and he quietly understood, by Tsurara's observation. The ice lady gathered her courage to talk with him, to ensure him that they were his faithful followers, and they would not back down to make sure he was safe, "But it's because we've been by your side until now, that we understand ...—"

He stuttered, "_Tsurara_ ... "

"—that ... Rikuo-sama ... Is someone who protects both humans and youkai..."

Aotabou gallantly added Tsurara's stuttering comment, "It's because you have such tremendous ability like that .. That we can consider you to be a suitable commander for us! And that's why it's at a time of hardship like this … That we want to exchange Sakazuki with the Rikuo-sama of _right now_ and follow behind you!"

Feeling more tormented, yet feeling so encouraged, he still remembered what he should have done. Rikuo, after all the commotion, said to his faithful followers, "All I've done since Shikoku come … Is cause problems for everyone."

The faithful youkai-s of his were however, disagreed with him. The big giant of the household said, "The fight together with us! You just have to make use of us!"

"Everyone ..." Finally, a smile form in the curve of his lips, that managed to relieve them in a way, "Rikuo-sama … Please exchange Sakazuki and drink a 7-3 pledge with us."

…

The youkai were once gathered by Zen in the garden. The inner circles of Rikuo's group knew that it would be hard to convince the youkai to believe in him again. As expected, they lazily obeyed his order, and quite forced too. Rikuo knew everything was caused by the accident that had occured before; that still made them dismayed their young commander. Rikuo realized and understood, he didn't expect them to instantly know his intention too.

In the same mean of time, Rikuo had exchanged Sakazuki with Aotabou, Kappa and Kurotabou. After Kubinashi sipped the thoughtful Sakazuki, he smiled. Then, he said, "We will accept you, no matter what form you take, because you are the treasure of the household that we have trusted and followed thus far."

Before the short ceremony ended, he said the words in addition, "Please live on, being true to yourself."

The moments of exchanging the Sakazuki with them would not and shall not fade from his memory forever. The moments where the first point turned back are these. They triggered all. He was thankful that he had faithful attendees like them, and he knew, that starting from now, it would not be easy.

After Kubinashi's turn, it was Tsurara's turn to pledge herself to him. She smiled happily, and glad. What could make her proud that time? Rikuo looked at her beautiful bright neon eyes and felt encouraged, he smiled gladly.

Suddenly, the man with spectacles saw _him_—the night version of himself on that Sakura tree once more.

He left Tsurara to deliver her glances on him for moments, before she saw a piece sakura petals on her sakazuki, then, there she realized.

_Huh?_

After the day Rikuo who sat in front of him gone mysteriously, she then quietly shocked to see that the Rikuo in front of him was a different one. It was him, the menacing and frightening Rikuo Nura. Her_ master_.

"—Master!" Jerked up, she stared at him in dismay.

"What's the matter? Aren't you going to accept the Sakazuki?" He said, ensuring herself that she was not thinking that this was an illusion or anything.

The woman in white clothing embarrassed, then she stared at her sakazuki, "Um.. Ah.. Yes!" Then she quickly sipped it with much embarrassment and cherished feeling.

The smile, the smirk, the frightening glare he gave to her, everything were put on these words, "_Tsurara, I'll be counting on you_."

Those words were tingling on her simple mind all the time, she could never forget it. He counts on her? Isn't it great? But of course, she won't forget it. She won't. After all, that was one way of motivation that Tsurara could get to strengthen her bond with her master—as well to make sure that the promise of herself won't be just merely a bluff in a time.

She was right on putting her whole life for him. She did not make a false choice. She felt glad and proud. She was right on exchanging the Sakazuki with him.

The next entry to her diary will be long. She had so many things to be written there. She was happy, and only that matter right now.

* * *

_**A/N: **I'm bad—Okay, I said it all the time ;w; But I supposed to said this is going to be a spoiler fanfiction as the fanfiction goes along the time in the manga. So consider it a spoiler fiction. BUT, I am sure that the readers here have known the consequences on reading this, no? :D Well, at least, it is not that big._

_By the way, the conversations at the sakazuki time.. I quoted directly from the translation manga. Okay, you guys could kill me ;u; I merely adjusted some words to make it feel real (and I know I don't help. ;-;)_

_**To Reviewers:** Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I love you readers! (and reviewers!) *huggles* I am sorry that I can't reply the message as fast I as I can, because I am quite busy (and heck yeah, I want to talk to you guys about Nurarihyon no Mago!)_

_**To AnimeLover0608 and FeuWitch:** sorry for the late replies ;u; my e-mail is busted up, so I found no URL to reply you. (and the same for the others) and thank you!_

_**To Rieyama Yuuko:** Thanks for reviewing! Yes, I'm an Indonesian, and I would like to make one .. But my Indonesian (IMO and some said) are quite bad .. And the ficts that I made were rather vivid ;w;_

**_*EDIT A/N (02/04/2012): _Thank you again for reading this crappy fanfiction. I felt relieved after I saw my the reviews for this fanfiction one more time (02/04/2012) and I hopefully can make the revises (and chapter 5! Can you believe this?) quickly. I have been busy for the week, and I hope that I the art inspiration will not die on me in a short amount of time. Okay, tune in on! **


	3. Entry 3 Comrade in Arms

_**Yuki Onna's Diary**_

_*Revised! Please look at the footnote for further information about the fanfiction's continuation!*_

**Entry 3. Comrade in Arms**

_..._

_Diary Entry no.13_

_Hey there diary! (^A^)/ I guess this is the latest entry that I could write after I exchanged sakazuki with Rikuo-sama. Do you know diary? I pondered and my heart seemed to skip a beat, every time I remembered those times when Rikuo-sama's red, gallant eyes were glancing through mine so intensely. _

_But beside that, our war against Shikoku's Hyakki was quite successful, despite the problem that Rikuo-sama had been through with his clan for a while, he could knock that Tamazuki! Well, Rikuo-sama almost got killed, and I almo..almost lost him. Thank the gods that I could manage to help him in a pinch. I could protect him and helped him beside him in the battle! I … I cannot lose him, I can't … He's my most important reason for me to live—for me to fight. _

_As I always say before, I will always offer the best, just for him!_

_- Tsurara Oikawa_

_..._

Tsurara was being hyped out at the day. She woke up earlier than she would have expected (woke up earlier than yesterday, precisely) and prepared the breakfast before Wakana always does for the clan. She decided that she wanted to work harder for the sake of the clan, even though what she did was quite trivial and small, but you know what, breakfast is the most important!

She came in with a good start. She boiled the water, and then she chopped carrots, after for a while, a woman with wavy dark hair came to the kitchen, with a slight gasp, she finally grinned and chuckled in the end, "Oh dear, Tsurara-chan, you woke up very early!"

"Ah, Kejourou, come on, help me out!" the smaller woman grinned in reply and she continued to chop the carrots into smaller pieces, leaving both females chortled with no reason or sort.

"Ne, Tsurara …" Kejourou with some of her bangs closed her eye interjected as she cleaned the rice and looked at Tsurara, who was still busy with her job.

"Hmm?"

"Don't you think you are being quite weird with _waka_ recently?"

"Eh ... Why do you think so?" the woman with patterned scarf raised a brow, feeling concerned with the statement her comrade had pointed out so suddenly, "I don't think I'm being weird or anything to Rikuo-sama ..."

"You know, Tsurara-chan, you can tell everything to me. I don't mind to hear what you _really_ thought about Rikuo-sama, it could help," Kejourou chuckled, trying to tease the shorter woman and stood from her place, "I will be sure to be a good listener and tried to help out."

Tsurara glanced at the sisterly-like of Kejourou. From all of this time, she didn't realize that Kejourou might be the only one to understand her. After all, she had stayed with the household and was taken care by Kejourou a lot. But their conversation was cut down by a sudden creak from the door.

The visitor was Wakana and she gasped slightly, like Kejourou had did before, "Ohayou Wakana-sama!" Tsurara said energetically to Wakana, who just got inside of the kitchen after Tsurara finished all of the preparation. She glanced at Wakana's shocked expression with proud and the seemingly-older lady smiled, "Ohayou too Tsurara-chan! Ohayou, Kejourou!" she grinned, "My my … The breakfast is ready!"

"Yep! Oh, I need to get the laundry done. Pardon me Wakana-sama," She excused herself and walked out with full of energy from the kitchen as she took out her apron from her yukata, folded it and left the piece of cloth on the proper place.

After she got out from the good smelling room, Wakana muttered and smiling to Kejourou. Her eyes seemed to looking forward for an explanation from the other woman, "Tsurara-chan is kind of cute that way, what is happening to her, I wonder?" she grinned energetically once more, wanting to be oblivious to what might happened to the ice lady.

"Wakana-sama will know, sooner or later!" Kejourou winked.

...

Tsurara was doing the laundry outside, the sun shone quite brightly, and the wind gave the biggest favour among all. The sky was quite blue, and it was giving the ice lady a bit of motivation. Everything went quite well, and it was the time to wake her master to go to the school.

"Rikuo-sama! It's morning already! Wake up ple—"

"Oh Tsurara!"

He woke up already. He was wearing his usual black gyakuran and red shirt covered behind the thin piece of cloth and for a while, Tsurara stared at him confusedly, in which, making Rikuo painfully uneasy and asked, "What's up with the stare?"

"O… Oh, nothing! I just thought you haven't woken up yet, so I decided to wake you up ..."

"Don't tell me that you think I can't wake up early, now, do you?" he teased her by grinning at her obliviousness. After Tsurara realized what her master pointed his words about, she was quite irritated, but then she realized that she was not.

"Of course not, Rikuo-sama!" she could feel that her cheek was getting red from the rushing blood pressure delivered from her beating heart.

"I am just kidding! Come on, Tsurara. Let's go."

Then, the idea of her attempt at making early breakfast resided in her mind.

"You should eat the breakfast first! I made it all by myself!" the woman smiled gleefully.

A breakfast by Tsurara, it would be a great one, don't you think so? Well, the possibility of the food to be cold will be ninety nine of hundred percent. However, he could guarantee himself that it would be delicious, even though it was cold. It was, at least, edible. But thinking back, Rikuo had a promise to do with Kana at the school. So he must be hurry. He was, actually felt guilty and actually wanted to taste a bit of her hard work.

"Sorry Tsurara, I have a promise with Kana-chan," she stared at him with turmoil, was it wrong for her to feel disappointment?

_No, no, no, Tsurara. That is not good. This shouldn't let you down. You shouldn't feel this way. It will only make you feel bad! Remember, you are here to serve him, not to make a heed of your petty complaints!_

"O..okay then, I'll call Aotabou to wait in the front." She said vaguely as she smiled and nodded slowly, Rikuo replied her with another nod and finally, she went out from his room. With no alarms or sorts, someone was calling him from his mind, _that_, he could deduce that his night version was the one who was currently talking to him.

"_... What the heck are you doing?"_

_Huh?_

"…"

_Hey, what do you mean by that?_

"_..."_

_Hey, answer me._

"_What are you doing? You asked me the most obvious."_

_What did I do wrong? And what is this obvious thing?_

"_Listen, couldn't you even look at her face? Damn, you are so dense. No wonder …"_

_Hmph … What?_

"_And then I realized, you are going to that place again. Don't you have enough with being friendly with two or three human friends?"_

_Before you continue your ramblings, humans are not as low as you might think of._

"_But because of the human as well ... You ..."_

_I am what?_

"_Never mind."_

_Hey, you're not answering me!_

"_..."_

The night form of his, didn't deliver another words to argue with him any longer. The youkai with silver clouded hair thought he would shut up. After all, he himself managed to realize that he appreciated personal bubble. And what was that thing again? He was _him_, and there should not be a personal bubble between them. But Rikuo with spectacles (specifically) sensed that … He was feeling quite guilty, he didn't know why, but he was feeling like that, or was it because of the recent conversation he had with his alter self?

Waiting no more, he arrived in front of the gate and Tsurara with Aotabou in their human form came and apologised for their lateness. They finally went together to the school, and only to be found by Kiyotsugu and the others. The group that Rikuo would always hang around to, they are Rikuo's literally best friends.

"Nura-kun!" a woman with short haired shouted from afar.

"Oh, Kana-chan." He muttered as he walked toward the caller slowly.

They talked together with the Kiyotsugu squad, as Tsurara and Aotabou were left behind, unnoticed by him. They exhaled and shook their head as they saw their master from afar. "So Tsurara ... What are you going to do with this?" Suddenly, Aotabou asked her a question. Quite irrational from her view, what was she going to do? Wasn't this normal for her to wait for him?

Then, she stared at the big guy beside her confusedly. It would have seemed that Aotabou required some sort of explanation, in which she didn't have, and so, she pressed on the matter, "What do you mean by that ... Ao?"

"Well, that is some resistance."

"What resistance I wonder?" Tsurara said with her usual voice, oblivious to what Aotabou meant.

"Aren't you in love with our _waka_?"

That was quite surprising. A sentence formed by seven words in which also a sentence that she questioned about. Tsurara was oblivious and yet, she was confused of what he meant. Wasn't their commander lovable in their clan?

"What do you mean by that?" still couldn't get what the big giant meant; she stuttered with vague smile, "If you ask me, everyone loves master. So yep, I love him!" she crossed her arms and raised a brow.

Aotabou shook his head slowly and exhaled quietly in exchange, "You don't get it do you …?"

"Eh?" She stared at him, confused once more, and so, the interjection from Tsurara managed to remind him about time, "Anyway, we're going to be late if we're chatting nonsensically here, so come on Ao!"

She ran to the school by herself, and leaving Aotabou who sigh by himself, "As always, Tsurara never realizes what happened to herself."

…

School, as always, was boring to Tsurara and of course, she was not the only one who agreed to the classic term. All of the students in the class were also bored by the current lesson they were taught about. They were actually looked forward for their after school, not wanting to fully concentrate on the old teacher who was teaching mathematics in the class, they discussed many things quietly with their classmates. There were some who communicated with papers, or some sign languages, young humans, they were quite creative, weren't they?

As for Tsurara, all she did is scribbling something beneath her books and suddenly, she was, in her utterly bad luck, was called in front by her old teacher.

"Oikawa-san, please demonstrate in front about the work of this formula in this problem."

Tsurara gulped, she, might understood few about mathematics because she was not a fool, but some problems like that—she, herself, acknowledged was challenging. She walked to the board and suddenly, the sound of longing school bell had rung. The class president stood up and gave an alarm to give a bow to the student. Tsurara, left with an astute smile, as if she just won something from the recent event.

The students packed their books from the desk to their bag. Some girls in the class were discussing things with their friends. Instead, the ice woman who disguised herself as a human hurried herself to pack her things; from pencils and scattered books around her porcelain table, my, it was quite untidy. Tsurara herself pitied herself for being untidy, despites her real job as an attendee who actually should be clean all the time. Then, the big white book was finally got into the bag. The woman with gleefully chuckled and let alone her classmates stared at her, confused.

Tsurara walked out from the crowded class, full from girls who were chatting with each other, a couple of brunette and her boyfriend who went downstairs, and also her master, Rikuo and Kana. They seemed to be in an important matter, and then, came Aotabou who patted Tsurara's shoulder distantly.

"What are they doing?" Ao asked with a brow raised unintentionally.

"Who knows?" Tsurara replied, and then they walked together to Rikuo before the latter apart with the brunette.

"Oh, you guys," he murmured, "Can you both go home first? I have something to take care of."

Tsurara, without a constant pause, declined quite harshly, "No, master. We will follow you and we will be sure to not relate with your matter in any way. Is that okay with you?"

"I'm sure that I will be okay, Tsurara," the man with spectacles ensured his bodyguards, even though he knew that both of them were stubborn if the matter related with him, or about his safety, or about the bloody matter knows, for good gracious sake, everything that mattered to him would be mattered to them.

He sighed and brushed off a droplet of sweat that was raining down from his forehead, "Can't you guys trust me?"

"We trust you, but it's your life in the line that we are speaking about, _waka_," the big one replied, following Tsurara to object Rikuo's idea of going off alone, "I am quite sure that even your grandfather won't be pleased to hear your idea from us."

"Hnn," Rikuo's expression suddenly turned grim.

"Oh I get it now," the ice lady crossed her hands and smiled, being the opposite of her master was doing right now, "You are going with Kana, yes? If that is the problem, don't worry. We won't interfere with your date, _waka_." Tsurara razzed her tongue and chuckled while she was slapping Ao's shoulder while labouring no evil intents. Without any ill mean, she, herself disagreed with the matter of 'date' with Ienaga Kana, somehow, her heart beat very fast, turning restless toward the matter. She didn't like this one bit.

Hearing the statement came out from Tsurara, Rikuo jerked up and a red shade suddenly appeared on his face, "W-What?"

"So that is your idea, master! Why don't you say so earlier?" Aotabou chuckled gleefully after he understood what Tsurara had pointed the statement about.

"It is not a date, you two. We hang out together because we need to buy things for the class tomorrow from the convenient store," Rikuo finally regained his composure and glared at his two attendees who were chuckling gleefully like a bunch of kiddies in the corridor full of crowded people. He wondered, weren't both of them actually older than him? Really, like older for twenty years? The thought of the older the people, the wiser they are is practically, an understatement. After for a while, the crowded people were staring at them and Rikuo could only produce a small sigh. The recent activity that he did unintentionally began to become some sort of bad habit of his.

"Oh really!" the woman with scarf forcing her chuckle, and it would have seemed that both of them managed to eat the act that the woman with black hair had did few seconds ago.

"Well yeah, Tsurara! I am not dating and if you guys disagree, I will be still going anyhow," the man with circular spectacles sniggered at the laughing pair and decided to leave without their permission.

Aotabou, finally stopped from his laughing (even though it was, quite hard, and he didn't know why), stared at the Nura, shouting a couple of warnings to the smaller man, "Hey, _waka_, we will still follow you, you know?" Although he did that, the man with black gyakuran, specifically brown haired and with circular spectacles was bowing his hands and ran downstairs.

Tsurara, instead, stood with silence and she forced another smile to be planted in her face. Her comrade, the giant demon disguised as a human-like-delinquent realized what changed in her expression, "You know, Tsurara. Clearly, we know what you are feeling right now and obviously, you are forcing another smile again."

The woman with scarf hid her mouth in her scarf, looking down on the floor and decided to give a reply, with both of her eyes were glancing at the bigger figure's eyes, "You don't know, and I am not forcing a smile either," she smiled, "See? I'm smiling like the usual! You must be thinking about things, Aotabou!" then, she continued with a chuckle.

"You are lying."

"Am not!"

"It's kind of useless to say that to you, anyway. So, Rikuo-sama's bodyguard squad leader, be sure to not lack the discipline to guard our master, okay? We are counting on you, you know!" the man with wide chin chuckled once again, teasing the girl with blue eyes and followed the trace of his master with haste.

The woman with cerulean orbs instead sighed and smiled again, agreeing to what Aotabou had said, and following both of them in a faster pace. She quietly thought, that having comrades to know what you are feeling might ease the pain and make it less hurt.

_.:.:.:._

_**A/N:** Owari! Thanks for reading this long chapter. And be wary, it's not the end after all. :b Tsurara hath yet manifest her love for Rikuo, right? /shotdead_

_One more thing. *huggles all reviewers* Thank you for reading this fanfiction. And I can't believe that I could got these reviews—it's like a dream come true, really! *u* I have never realized that this fanfiction could manage good bunch of reviews that manage to correct some of my mistakes in this fanfiction! _

_Further notices about the updates shall be in my profile._

_Alright, bye bye for now!_

**_*EDIT A/N (03/04/2012): _Thanks a lot to you guys for reading the revision, it is quite a hard work for me to revise most of the idea in the fanfiction, and I will try to make it as long (and descriptive) as I can. This revision meant for Tsurara to be oblivious about her feeling, denying that she had a feeling for her commander and instead hurting herself quite a lot in the process. Any questions? PM me! I will be sure to correct any mistakes, and considering any idea that any of you might have for this fanfiction! C:**

**I know that this wasn't the best of my work, but I will try my best to make this fanfiction end. :D Reviews are love! **


	4. Entry 4 Burden

_**Yuki Onna's Diary**_

_**Disclaimer:**__ Standard Applied._

_**Warnings:**__ Grammatical Errors, Typos, OOCs, Minor Spoiler__. Tragedy and conflict included._

**Y****uki Onna's Diary**

**Entry 4. Burden**

_"__It's not about the others think and need of you Tsurara. But you, who makes the decision and have the rights to gain your hope. To gain what you need the most."_

-...-

_Youkai me. __What are you intending to do with Tsurara? Do you really love her?_

Love is a strong word. Never use that kind of word.

_But__—why did you do that to her last night?_

...

_Don't li__e to me. Even though you're 180 degrees different than me, I'm still you. And I know what feeling you have when you're with Tsurara that night._

...

_At least tell me! Why you kissed her! And why you leave her like that, and saw us like—never mind. _

-...-

"Ne ne Tsurara-chan." a brunette came around Tsurara's outer personal bubble. She is not too high, and she had a folded paper in her right palm. Oh, by the way, she was a classmate of Kana's. "Um... Yeah?"

"Kana-chan had a message for you. Unfortunately she had assignments to do, so she can't talk directly to you.." said the girl as she lended Tsurara the folded paper that she hold all the way. "Bye then."

The brunette walked away from her classroom, she stared at her going out, and afterward, she glanced at the small folded paper that _Kana_ intentionally gave to her. She opened it hesitatingly.

And she just let her jaws fell down... She can't even believe this. This crap. This nonsense. This utterly annoying piece of scraps. This stupid folded paper who made her down for some reasons. Scratch that.

"You're—I..I must strong." she muttered behind her breath. She forced out her small smile that she used to have everyday, that now fading slowly and slowly.

_Kami-sama, can I just wished for a time for a momentary happiness?_

She was wrong to even wish that. She regretted herself. Deep in her mind. She shooked her head. And stuttered.

-...-

"Hey! Kejourou!" shout the short old Nurarihyon in his room. His frowned face won't please everybody, it would seemed.

The Kejourou that he called finally arrived, she then glanced at him throughly, she already knew anyway what he wanted from her. She frowned as well and said it in a low voice. Even Kejourou was not that pleased. "I know Nurarihyon-sama, it's about yesterday right? .. All of the youkai are talking about it behind." she carressed her jaw and then looked at her high commander eye to eye.

"It's fine. It's just a conflict. And yes.. As usual." He walked down to the backyard and saw the Sakura tree from his room. "I already bring it to you." Kejourou said, and lended a thick white book—it was Tsurara's diary.

"... The entries from 4 days ago seemed fine .." he said. "Let me look at it Nurarihyon-sama." Said Kurotabou. He took the book from Nurarihyon, and started read it. He yelped, "She seemed so happy days ago but—"

"You know Tsurara. She never let her smile fade, even though she was in a critical situation. Let's added that to the account." Answered the high commander.

"Kuro, Kubinashi, Kejourou, you could tell Ao about this. But let me handle this problem." The old man started to drink his cup of sake and then he is smiling so satisfying to them, "Don't worry. I have a plan."

-...-

The day Rikuo was in a park, with no one beside him. Usually he would go by with Ao, or Kiyotsugu? And the others? ... And Tsurara? ... But not this time. He took his time to talk to himself, or rather ... His other self. Alone.

.. But he didn't answer. He carressed his tired face slowly. Wondering on how life seemed to have no end of problems. And yeah. You guys could even think of it, ya?

_What should I do. Think brain, just give me the freaking exit._

He muttered crazilly. Starting to annoy himself. He then standed up, and made a decision. Well, he did make a decision that time.

_But .. __I have to talk to Tsurara. No matter how big the case seemed to be. But the question is, __**How?**_ He thought.

Well .. It's a big nuts of problem, young Nura. A big problem between your youkai you and Tsurara for exactly.

-...-

"Eh, Ao?" Tsurara greeted the big looked-alike-delinquent of the school in front of the school's gate. Well yeah, it's definitely Ao. Who would've thought of others? "Where's .. Rikuo-sama?"

"He said he wanted to be alone for a while Tsurara." Ao explained to her. "Oh I see." she muttered with a smirk in her lips. Although the fact was—she was worried.

"B..but we have to search Rikuo-sama first!" she said suddenly. She grabbed Ao's huge hand and pulled him to walk. Enough chatters, find Rikuo and done. Done?

"Wait Yuki Onna." Ao halted his movements. "Rikuo-sama promised that he'll be back before dinner. And I believe in him. We should go back to the house first." Ao continued, "And Commander asked us to go home earlier. He said he have something to talk to us."

Tsurara could not argue for more. She let herself to go to the house. Thinking back, it's better this way.

-...-

"Nurarihyon-sama." said Tsurara. She was no longer human though, she already wore her usual white kimono. And her beautiful zigzagged scarf. Lovely as always—with the exceptional of her face, she looked like she didn't have .. Life. No, that's wrong, it felt like she_ lost some part of her soul_. "Is it something wrong?"

Though, in front of everybody, Tsurara might succeed in covering it—but not with Nurarihyon.

"Sit down Tsurara." He offered her a pillow in front of him. Cushion. That's nice. "There is indeed something wrong." he carressed his eyebrows and he took the cup full with sake, and drank it slowly.

"What's it then?" she smiled 'sheepishly' and piqued her interest in her master's eyes. "It was about you, Tsurara." he said.

She jerked up and felt trembling. Even the commander knew about this. It's very—"You know, when I heard about you, and my grandson. You're reminding me of Rihan—"

"Rihan-sama?" she said in curiosity. "Why would you think about Rihan-sama? And related it to .. Me..?"

"Eheheh, it's a long story, and that's way old. But the reason why I call you here, do you know, what's it?"

"... Because I had problems with Rikuo-sama?"

"Nope, it's because I wanted to say something to you." He then looked at her eye to eye. Really, she looked like Rihan's—never mind. "Tsurara, hear me carefully alright? _It's not about what the others think and need of you Tsurara. But you, who makes the decision and have the rights to gain your hope. To gain what you need the most."_

_"And that's the most important thing that you have to reach."_

Her eyes were widened, her neon eyes were looking at her master unbelievably. She seemed to know what Nurarihyon meant.

She suddenly changed her points of view, and yes. She made her decision. "Ano.. Nurarihyon-sama, thank you for your words back there!" She thanked him sheepishly. "I need to go and find Rikuo-sama then! And talk to him!" She said energetically. This is it Tsurara, you're as fresh as new.

The old Nurarihyon just nodded and let Tsurara ran through the corridors of the house. Her smile seemed to be recovered soon enough. That's Tsurara. She's ready to talk to him. About that night, and ... About a _kiss_.

_**-...-**_

_**Z**__**omg, Maria back to the fanfiction.**_

_**Hey ther**__**e, thanks for reading and alerting this fanfiction. Motivated me, let's say that.. By the way, I wanted to be honest. I was pressured here, to make the updates of this fanfiction. It felt that this fanfiction, is not that worthy to be read. Idk, I just thought that. ;; and anyway, complain me in the Review Box Be-low. If you're not satisfied.**_

_**... I really wanted to thank Ray William Johnson for inspiring me. Y'now, I wrote this in fact because I was motivated (again) by #rayWJ and his freaking awesome words. Nvm. Mutters, as always. ... Wants cookies?**_

_**-maikiru13**_


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